Pushing Me Away
by Maudlin Cycle
Summary: Song-fic; Trowa is having issues opening up to Quatre and it's effecting them both. [ boy x boy ]


Title: Pushing Me Away  
  
Author: Kita-hoshi  
  
Genre: Song-fic, small bits of angst(?), sap, romance, it's just sad.. x.;  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (boy love) XD~!!  
  
Series: Gundam Wing  
  
Comments: I do not own Gundam Wing.. (as every other fan, though, I wish I did) ..but I did write this fan fiction about it! Chock full of (-- copyrights Tsuki ^^;;) boy-loving-boy good-ness. 3x4.. Don't shoot me, Kiona. ^.^;;  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
("Pushing Me Away" - Linkin Park)  
  
"Trowa..? Is something wrong?" Quatre looked up at his lover, sapphire eyes showing signs of concern.  
  
"No," was his answer, non-chalant at that. "I'm fine." Trowa smiled reassuringly.  
  
// I've lied to you The same way that I always do This is the last smile That I'll fake for the sake of being with you //  
  
Hesitantly, Quatre laid his head back down on Trowa's chest. He knew he wasn't telling him something, but he couldn't get it out of Trowa. He frowned and sighed depressingly.  
  
// Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down  
  
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie.. //  
  
- I'm sorry, Quatre.. I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you.. - Trowa looked down at his golden-haired angel with a saddened face. How he longed to tell Quatre everything. It was Trowa's one wish to open up to him.. yet he couldn't. So for now, he would white-lie his way out of it and pretend things were okay.  
  
// Everything has to end, you'll soon find out we're out of time to watch it all unwind  
  
The sacrifice is never knowing //  
  
Sighing slightly, Trowa ran his fingers through Quatre's silky hair. He really did care for the blonde youth. The war had mad him reserved and untrusting, though. - I should have stopped caring when I had the chance. -  
  
// Why I never walked away  
  
Why I played myself this way  
  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away //  
  
- I know I must be causing you pain. I can see it in your eyes. I hate lying to you, dear angel.. If only you knew how hard I've tried to tell you, to show you what I want.. what I need.. If we part, blame me. -  
  
// I've tried like you  
  
To do everything you wanted to  
  
This is the last time  
  
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you //  
  
To Trowa's surprise, Quatre sat up and straddled him. His beautiful blue eyes were intense and filled with questions. "Trowa, please trust me. Don't be afraid to tell me anything." A pale hand grasped Trowa's tanned one. "Please.. I know somethings wrong." The dark green eyes belonging to Trowa looked away from Quatre. He couldn't tell him.  
  
// Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down  
  
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie..  
  
Everything has to end, you'll soon find out we're out of time to watch it all unwind  
  
The sacrifice is never knowing //  
  
Lightly squeezing Trowa's hand, Quatre pleaded, "Trowa no matter what happens I'll love you. I'll always love you." The older boy winced. "Quatre.. Don't say that," he replied abruptly, not thinking of how it might effect the situation.  
  
// Why I never walked away  
  
Why I played myself this way  
  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away //  
  
"Why?" If Trowa had been looking into Quatre's eyes, he would have noticed the rising amount of concern that filled them. Reluctantly, Trowa stole a glimpse of his partner. His golden hair was only slightly out of parting and he was clearly troubled. Was that fear Trowa saw deep within his angels eyes?  
  
// We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds  
  
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie  
  
We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds  
  
The sacrifice is never knowing //  
  
In a frustration, Quatre pulled at Trowa's shirt. "Say something! Trowa! I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong! I want to help you!" His deep blue eyes were filled with tears. Calmly, Trowa removed Quatre's hands and gently pushed him to the couch as he stood. "Quatre.. I have to sort this out myself." Finally, the tears that wouldn't come to Quatre for a while now, streamed down his face.  
  
// Why I never walked away  
  
Why I played myself this way  
  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away //  
  
All he ever wanted was for Trowa to open up to him, to let him whisk Trowa away from his problems. Unfortunately, fate had decided other wise. With an aching heart, Trowa walked away from his dismal angel. It was the hard to accept, but he had to let go of Quatre. A tear rolled down Trowa's cheek. - How I wish I never brought you into this mess. Forgive me, my love.. and never forget what we had. -  
  
// Pushing me away... // 


End file.
